What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why do you have to be 18+ to go live on TikTok?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Do women really cheat more than men?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

My blog is new. I need 10 article posts for my blog. How much should I pay for it?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I'm British and feel ashamed of the crimes of British colonialism. What should I do?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What do women talk about mostly(among themselves)?

TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Is the Chinese economy currently collapsing? If not, what could potentially cause it to collapse?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How can I handle my distrust and jealousy for my partner?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are you wearing under your clothes today?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In bed, not in music, which is better, a drummer or a bass player?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.